The Hardest Part

My 2 year old son Jackson watching me head out for a two week tour. - Photo by Sarah Barfield

The hardest part of being a musician is leaving. We’re torn, because we love what we do, and we love our family and friends. 

When we’re gone, we disconnect because what we’re doing is so consuming. We lose touch with the daily routine. It hurts because we’re missing out on the most valuable things in our lives. 

Musicians will try to avoid having to feel this pain by not making connections. They don’t get married, they definitely don’t have kids. 

I understand why. It’s hard enough to do this lifestyle without feeling the pressure and pull of wanting to provide for a family emotionally and financially. 

But there’s bad news: you need community. We need deep, personal connections to other humans to be healthy and to grow. The more we try to protect ourselves from the emotional pain of leaving, the more detached we become from what brought us to music in the first place: emotional expression.

When I leave today, I will allow myself to be sad and feel that sadness.